Things are just different here in Mozambique, and although there are things that don't phase me at all anymore (like seeing a mentally ill naked person walk down the street - although it is sad) there are some things that make me just shake my head in disbelief.
1. On a positive note, the generosity of some of the poor continues to overwhelm me. Kevin will go to preach at a church outside of town, where everybody is hungry or has been living on powdered manioc for months, and will come home with a big bunch of bananas or a bowl of peanuts. That kind of generosity is astonishing to me.
2. The callousness of medical professionals toward people here. The attitude seems to be, "If you don't pay me something extra, you are not worth my time." This week, we went to visit the wife of a pastor in the hospital who had her 4th c-section and she was moaning in pain. She told us she hadn't had anything for pain for 24 hours (and this was only 48 hours after the surgery). When I questioned the nurse, she was irritated that the woman hadn't told her. The nurse hadn't checked on her at all? Apparently not. The nurse said they didn't have any of the injectable pain medicine, the hospital was all out. I dug some ibuprofen out of my purse and gave it to the poor woman, and the nurse said, "Well, we have THAT". But apparently didn't care to give her any. You should have seen the sewing job on that massive 8 inch scar that ran vertically. I could have done better, and I have no medical training. I am so thankful I have the means of avoiding treatment in that hospital.
3. Some of the personal habits of people here are somewhat disturbing to me, though none of the locals seem bothered. The "ick factor" is pretty high when I see someone digging around in their nose for a booger, and on the street this is not uncommon. People we know don't do it, though among children it is rampant. A personal habit that irritates me, without the "ick factor" is men who walk down the street, hand firmly planted on their crotch. Again, educated people don't do this, but quite a few of the poor young men do. I want to yell out the car window at them "Hey, is it still there?" but quite frankly that would be inappropriate as it would indicate too much interest in the matter at hand. Funnily enough, we saw this quite a bit in New York as well!
4. Although I am used to the crazy drivers, pretty frequently I am annoyed and upset at the inconsideration and aggressiveness (not to mention stupidity) of some drivers here. Yesterday, I was driving behind a minibus taxi, on a very bumpy dirt road. We were going along at an ok clip, but too slow for the guy behind us. He pulled up beside me and then, when another car approached from the other direction, tried to run me off the road so he could get in front of me. Not kidding. I laid on the horn, and he missed me by inches. I drove in New York, including the city, for quite a few years, and I don't mind high-speed, aggressive driving. But this kind of thing happens all the time, and is just plain dangerous and ugly. Cars turn suddenly in front of you to do a u-turn, motorcycles weave around you and cut you off, and bicycles laden with charcoal or wood wobble unsteadily down the road, blocking traffic. Quite a few people drive in ways that are unsafe.
5. Closely related to that is the large numbers of small children who ride around on motorcycles and bicycles, hanging precariously with no helmet and without being strapped on in any way. Last week I passed a guy on a bicycle tooling down the road with a baby that couldn't have been more than 14 months old sitting on the bar in front of him, holding onto the handlebars. He wasn't holding the child, but was driving the bike. He was on a main street, with cars whizzing by. It made me shudder. Frequently, I pass motorcycles laden with 2 or 3 children positioned around the driver. These drivers are usually careful (they don't want their children injured of course) but it seems a recipe for disaster. Nobody has a helmet in these cases.
6. Overall I have adjusted to the street boys who harrass me next to my car. I've created ways of entering and leaving my car with my purchases to minimize the risk of theft. However, at the central market I struggle not to lose my patience. Only once have I ever paid a boy to carry my purchases (in the two years I've been going!) when I was on crutches after knee surgery. But these kids see my white face and think "Bonanza!" or at least hope for a few pennies anyway. They follow me through the whole market, repeatedly asking me to buy their plastic bags, or to carry my purchases. Whenever the vendor weighs out my tomatoes or whatever, they hopefully try to grab the bag to carry it for me. "No" I repeat over and over and OVER. As I dig in my bag for money, they edge closer and closer to look in my purse. Theft is pretty common there, so of course I wonder if they are going to make a grab for it. Frequently, I gently push one of them back from my elbow. When I bring my kids, they tease and laugh at them, which is upsetting for Toby and Ben. However, they are kind and help them get up if they fall. Although I feel very sorry for these kids, I get awfully tired of being harassed. I guess I do feel kind of like a rock star, with an entourage of toughs following me around like a pack!
7. The "Great White Hope". The Christians here are lovely people, and sincere believers. Unfortunately, quite a few of the Christians see foreigners as the answer to their prayers. The answer for financial support for the church, the answer for evangelism and the answer for teaching. Churches hope to get their own missionary so that someone will pay for their church buildings, transport their pastors and leaders around to conferences (and pay for them), teach the church, and give their group prestige. There are very good reasons why they feel this way, including grinding poverty, lack of transport, the history of this country and the very real lack of training for pastors and leaders (one reason we are here). But it is hard to convince some of the believers here that they can do it themselves. One has to disentangle oneself from requests and expectations, and try to build up the Church by building up the leaders, instead of taking over and running it (what many want you to do). When you visit a church, you are treated like royalty and although it reflects the hospitality and generosity of the local people, there is also sometimes the attitude that the whites are better than the local people. It is so upsetting, the low self-esteem of many of the people here and we wish that people felt better about themselves and their ability to run things.
8. People chatting in the local language in front of me. Now, I can't say I blame them, because for everyone here, Portuguese is their second language. Same as for me. So, when I visit people, often there are side conversations going in Macua, the local tribal language. Frequently, however, people make comments about me and chat in front of me (while I sit watching) in Macua, which I understand not at all. It is not considered rude here as far as I know, but I wonder what they are saying about me! Especially when they laugh.
9. The inconsistency of services. Internet goes out suddenly and can be out for days, and no apology is offered. Water goes off and on, and electricity suddenly cuts out. The cell phone network goes down for no apparent reason, for a whole day. In general, we have adjusted to this and understand that this is just the way life is. The water and electricity, especially, we have learned to deal without. However, we often get frustrated when we can't contact people or send out information that is needed by others. This is more a matter of control of one's attitude and attempting to keep a sense of humor, rather than descend into a bitter anger about "all that is wrong here", as we see some expats do.
10. Pregnant ladies everywhere! I haven't gotten used to this yet. I think I have trouble reconciling this in my mind because I see the burden that all these children are on the ladies here. Children are a blessing, I believe that firmly, and whenever someone tells me (or I see) that they are expecting, I am truly happy for them. However, I wish that circumstances (misunderstandings about the body, difficulty in getting birth control that works for women, no access to birth control in some circumstances, ignorance, and ridiculous expectations for sexual performance from women) all contribute to almost constant pregnancy for many of the ladies here. Of course, there are lots of good reasons for this, too. Babies are lost at a much higher rate here due to hundreds of reasons I don't need to go into here, and large families are considered a blessing. But the constant work and struggle of so many of the women to care for and raise all those children is hard for me to see. I don't advocate abortion, by any stretch of the imagination, but I do frequently wish that the circumstances of women here could be changed on all fronts. I believe it will, over time, but it will be a long road.
- Cami
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