The Sideshow Circus Freaks or Doing Hard Things

This entry has two titles, for good reasons you'll see in a minute.

One of the hardest things in adjusting to life here is just being so darn wierd. At home, I am a fairly normal person, and as I walk down the street people do not drop their packages, punch their friends in the arm and point, shouting "Look, there she goes!"

Ok, I am exaggerating a bit. But, there is more interest in my comings and goings than I am used to in America, and this is because I am a white person. In town, driving around in my truck, people do stare at me, but it is just general interest. When I ride the motorcycle, however, I feel like I am a freak from the circus. What, do I have two heads? Two years ago, there was only me and another lady in town who were riding around on motorcycles. We got a lot of attention. People's jaws would actually drop. Crowds would gather as I came out of a store, unlocked my bike, and rode off. Trust me, any narcissist would have a heyday here. Nowadays, there are lots of ladies on scooters and some on motorcycles, and interest has calmed down a little. But, my blinding whiteness still creates a lot of stares, pointing, and laughter. I wonder sometimes "Are my clothes unbuttoned? Do I have something smeared on me? Why are they staring so hard?". Just something different, that's all.

Staring here is not considered impolite. Do this in America, and people get angry. Here, there is nothing wrong with staring at someone for a protracted period of time, and if you ask "What are you looking at?" then you would be considered the rude one.

This has been especially hard for Toby. No kid likes to be stared at (unless they are parading by with their fancy new toy) and in the beginning he didn't like to go to town at all. If I am a novelty, small white children are even more so. I made the decision last year that the kids and I would walk to church, which is about a 35 minute hike from our house, through winding dirt paths, the back of people's yards, into the mud-hut slum area, past the market and on. I wanted the kids to get used to being in "the bairro", which is the area where almost everyone in Nampula that Kevin works with is living. I hated driving up in my car (which would be like arriving at church in a Porsche in America) and playing the role of the rich American. Plus, Kevin often needs the car on a Sunday for his preaching trips.




So, we walk through the bairro and it was so miserable for Toby. People would point and laugh as we passed, sometimes in an unkind manner. Many were friendly and would greet us, but groups of children sometimes followed, chattering about us. "Akunha!" (white person) was shouted at us over and over. This is also not considered rude, but was discomfiting for Toby. Finally, I came up with a game: each time Toby hears the word "Akunha!" he gets one metical. The value of this is about 4 cents. By the time our walk is finished, to and fro, he sometimes nets almost a dollar, and is pleased. Once, he walked way ahead of me, out of sight, because he felt that he would get more shouts and make more money, but I had to put a stop to that. Now, whenever he hears it he grins widely and his eyes light up. Funny!

We are getting used to being objects of interest, though sometimes it can feel stressful. One missionary family I know drove into a small town and everyone stopped to watch them drive by. Their youngest son said to his brothers "Just smile and wave, boys! Smile and wave." (This is a line from the movie Madagascar, by the way). Now i know a little bit more about how minorities feel where i come from. Meanwhile, sometimes I take a deep breath before I begin my walk to somewhere, because I know that my presence will create interest, and I'd rather blend in. Just not possible, unfortunately. On those occasions where I am considered more "normal", it is such a relief!

I know that when we return to the land of more varied skin colors, it will seem strange to us. What, aren't we interesting any more? :-) Until then, we steel ourselves, try to understand why, and attempt to use the attention for good and not for stress. - Cami